I think I’m doing it wrong.

I keep restarting my story instead of fixing up what I have.
What I have just misses all of the mood, subtleties and wishy washy point I thought I was making when I cooked this scheme up in the first place.
I can’t tell if it’s my procrastination and laziness shining through, or if I have to just keep learning how to write and stabbing away until I hit the mark.
I’m trying to ignore that inner critic and just write (again)
but at the almost one year mark, I’m feeling totally caca about the whole business.
I need a reader, but I keep scrumpling up my paper and mushing up my playdough etc and starting all over and have yet to get anything down that would be legible by others.
Is this normal?
Or at least a common kind of abnormal?
Oooooh I’m gonna get so mad if I die before I finish this goddamn thing.
Happy new year!

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2 responses to “I think I’m doing it wrong.

  1. I think it’s perfectly normal. I always rework my beginnings to the detriment of my middles and ends. It’s a matter of shifting focus, getting rid of the perfectionist who wants everything done in a linear fashion, and reworking other parts of the story. Not the same for everyone, but working in a different order usually pulls out some surprising insights. (:

  2. I experienced the same thing with my first NaNo novel. I’m still struggling with it. So if you’re abnormal, then so am I 🙂

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