*sorry for the non-links. WordPress is in a huff with me today.
The lovely and talented Frankasaurus at http://franksheepfoot.wordpress.com posted a list of five happiness-inducing things. She is my brain-twin, therefore,
1. The Hot tub. This one is fleeting. My husband scored a two-week hot tub rental at a fundraiser auction in May. It arrived just in time for Labour day weekend. Oh my God. I could get a little too used to this. Sleeping like a baby. Becoming less afraid of being seen in swimsuit in daylight.
2. The New Pornographers! I just love saying the name. Their video for the Moves puts me in stitches. The expression on the guy with the lightning bolt painted on his face will one day kill me. You’ll know it when you see it. And you can see it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYyu5vbwvbA. I KNOOOOW vevo channels on youtube are annoying because of the commercials, but just hear me out. Then hear them out. They are frankly joyous, and they make me want to dance up and down. Also, Neko Case.
3. The Horticulture. I had wonderful planting plans for this summer, but a leak in our only sun-facing windows put a cramp in my grow-op ops. I am passive aggressive with my garden. I neglect it for months at a time, then suddenly go on a weeding, pruning, transplanting rampage. This year we had a good run with some heirloom tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, curry plants and my absolute favourite, Thai basil. I enjoy grazing like a basil-tomato grazing animal. Hoppy, our hops vine, is looking so good this year. Some home-brewin’ friends want to try and make beer with the hops. I will be so sad when it is winter. Bigger, better, even stupider plans in the works for next year already.
4. Being a frigging super villain. A joke so meta, it’s post-joke. Ok, this is one of those jokes where the explanation is longer than the joke, rendering it non-joke. Do I ever let that kind of thing stop me?
Allow me to explain!
A few weeks ago my sister was visiting, and we were discussing how the women in our family suddenly get enormous giant asses once we hit our forties. I seem to be on the fast track. I believe my exact words were “I’m a monocle and a top hat away from being the frigging Planters Peanut man.” Cut to me finding an ‘ask me anything’ post on reddit where the commenters created a sword-cane, scotch, and monocle toting super villain alter-ego for a guy answering questions about growing up with Treacher Collins Syndrome. Then my beloved Michael Chabon (IT IS SO BACK ON!) mentioned a “bemonocled adversary.” Anyway. I had to have a monocle. I had to have it now.
Did you know you can get them on ebay? No shit. Four lovingly bubble-wrapped 1950s vintage optometrist test lenses recently touched down at my house, and I got crafty with some chain and toggle clasps and jump rings. Rocked the pliers. You may now address me as Marty Millionaire. I might even let you wear one, while we smoke cigars and drink Persecco in the hot tub. If someone says something shocking, you have to make an expression of surprize, thus knocking your lens into your martini glass. Thank you. The end.
5. Just a little bit of Vice. Mmmmm coffee and cocktails. I know, I know, I should ditch the caffeine and booze and drink more water and enjoy longevity and less-rashy skin, but seriously. How much do I love my morning (and mid morning. and afternoon.) cup of joe? How much do I love my evening gin and tonic and sugar and lemon? THIS MUCH. If I had a cocktail shaker I would shake it in the morning, shake it in the evening, all over this land.
Get happy this Labour Day, y’all. If misfortune finds you in Southeastern Ontario, come join me for some bubbles and a soak.
There might be a top haaaaaaat…..